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How to get my name and pronouns right

Hi. I am a nonbinary transgender person. Under section 7.4 of the Ontario Human Rights Code policy on preventing discrimination because of gender identity and gender expression, I have the right to be known by my chosen name and my proper personal pronouns. I am requesting that you respect this civil right.

1. My first name is A.W., pronounced eh-double-you. Please use this in all situations that do not require my full legal name.
2. My 3rd person pronouns are they/them/their/themself. Here are some good things to know:-
   • The singular they is not a neologism. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, it has been in use since 1375, for example by Chaucer and Shakespeare. It is now an accepted pronoun for nonbinary people in both the OED and the Merriam-Webster Dictionary.
   • People who resist using the singular they often worry about singular/plural ambiguities. However, they happily use the singular you every day, which suffers from the exact same ambiguities. We figure those out from context.
   • When first asked to use the singular they, people usually struggle the most with picking the right verb inflections. (Is it they is or they are?) I hope they will be relieved to know that there is a simple universal rule: just use exactly the same verbs as for the singular you. Examples:-
     • A.W. couldn't be here today because they just got the flu and don't want to spread it.
     • I invited A.W. to the party too -- I'm looking forward to seeing them there!
     • Is A.W. still stuck working at their office? Hope they can get themself home soon!
     More detail:-

     	subjective	objective	possessive	reflexive
     1st person singular	I	me	my	myself
     1st person plural	we	us	our	ourselves
     2nd person singular	you	you	your	yourself
     2nd person plural	you	you	your	yourselves
     3rd person singular	they	them	their	themself
     3rd person plural	they	them	their	themselves

3. I do not like honorifics. But if you must use one, my honorific is Prof. or Dr.. Another gender neutral option is Mx., pronounced mix, which is more commonly used in the UK than in North America.

Some resources

• Transgender 101 (Everyday Feminism)
• 10 myths about nonbinary people it's time to unlearn (Everyday Feminism)
• Degendering the language of customer service (Barista magazine)
• Cis privilege checklist (Taking Up Too Much Space)
• Intersectionality, illustrated (Ententa's Magic)
• They is my pronoun (TheyIsMyPronoun.com)
• Liste de ressources pour un français nonbinaire (Gersande.com)
• Recommendations for institutional and governmental management of gender information (FlorenceAshley.com)

For journalists

• Aotearoa/New Zealand: Transgender media guide 101 (Gender Minorities Aotearoa)
• Canada: Media reference: Discussing trans and gender-diverse people (The 519 and Rainbow Health Ontario)
• USA: Style guide (Trans Journalists Association) and Style guide for writing about transgender people (Radical Copyeditor)
• UK: Media style guide and Understanding non-binary people: a guide for the media (Trans Media Watch)

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2021-03-28