Being Kiwi

Road signs

Tourist drivers from North America often encounter unfamiliar things in Aotearoa (New Zealand), such as roundabouts and one-lane bridges (not to mention the fact that traffic naturally keeps left).

This first road sign showcases another aspect of NZ roads not familiar to city-folk tourist drivers: shared rail/road bridges. This particular one is in NZ’s South Island, near Greymouth on the West Coast. It depicts how easily riders can get thrown off their velocipedes if they allow their wheels to track the rails. (Notice that the depicted rider is wearing a helmet!)

While on holiday in NZ a few years ago, I insisted that my family’s full car pull over just so I could take that picture to show Northerners….

This second road sign was apparently spotted in Aotearoa New Zealand in April 2003 by an amused tourist.

I noticed this picture on the web by the CBC’s Writers & Company Aotearoa New Zealand literature list.

Any NZer would know to take this sign very seriously.

Kiwi vs. kiwifruit

A kiwi is an endangered flightless bird indigenous to Aotearoa New Zealand.

Kiwi (usually with a capital K) is also a colloquialism for a human being from Aotearoa New Zealand.

Either way, A KIWI IS NOT A FRUIT!

The thing you eat is called a kiwifruit. Calling a kiwifruit a “kiwi” is like calling a pineapple a “pine” or a strawberry a “straw” – ie, inaccurate. (Naturally, it also makes any real Kiwi cringe to hear a recipe that starts take one kiwi and slice thinly!)

The best way to eat a kiwifruit is to cut it in half with a knife, and then scoop out the yummy insides with a teaspoon. The (brown, hairy) skin is not supposed to be eaten.

Kiwifruit are best when they are slightly soft but not squishy. If you buy an unripe (firm) kiwifruit, which I usually do because they keep well, the quickest way to ripen one naturally is to put it in a paper bag with a cut apple.

Since other countries started horning in on the kiwifruit business, the Aotearoa New Zealand product has been given a makeover and is now called Zespri. The colour of a kiwifruit’s insides is green (original version) or golden (Zespri) when ready to eat. Enjoy your scurvy prevention!

kiwi slang

One delicious source of information is a chemist’s view on Kiwi slang – enjoy!

identity

The best extant piece of writing I’ve seen encapsulating modern-day Kiwi identity is New Zealand Dreams, by Witi Ihimaera.